The Excuse Line
If it is not on Strava, then it didn't happen- that's the mantra right? Well the reality is that sometimes we just ain't that good but we feel obliged to upload and it is embarrassing. We see the segment score, compare to the masses and then to who we are following. We know roughly where we should be in the leadership; we know where we want to be and who we want to beat but let's face it, most of the time we just do not cut the mustard. In truth most people do not care what you do or what time you post but just in case, a small comment line has evolved, starting out as a place to comment on your ride, where you went and how your experience has taken on a life of its own..... it has been an excuse line.
Conditions were far too hot
Scroll through your Strava, you will see that this need to excuse our patheticness has become endemic, luckily there are no rules as to what you can or cannot write in this line; it is not a drop down box with pre -determined reasons: forgot to eat; shouldn't have had that extra beer last night; gears were skipping; you pretty much have a carte blanche to come up with whatever BS that you can think of. To start with, it is best to think of what area of excuse that you are going for:
- Energy and eating throughout the ride
- Lifestyle before the ride
- Bike and equipment issues
- Group members and other road users
- Weather and road conditions
- Cyclng fitness and condition
With these in mind, it is then pretty easy to elaborate with a believable excuse. If you have excusers block then here are some examples that can be copied, spliced and regenerated to make your own.
Energy and eating throughout the ride
Forgot to bring my energy bars
Not a good idea to stop for a 3 course meal during a ride
Stomach couldn't handle the gels
Can't believe favourite coffee stop was shut
Misjudged my fueling
Lifestyle before the ride
Too many beers last night
Who thought that going to a party the night before was a good idea?
Ate way too much on my holiday
Too much work on to concentrate
Bike and equipment issues
Need to get a bike fit, sore shoulders from over reaching
Bike making a weird noise
Think the cleats are not aligned correctly
Slow puncture
Forgot my cycling shoes
Group members and other road users
Social ride with Dave and Bob
Nice ride showing Tracey around the local climbs
Got stuck in rush hour
Would have got a PR if it was not for the tractor
Unbelievable traffic
Roadworks - had to stop at temporary traffic lights
All found it hard to breath
Weather and road conditions
Unbelievable headwind, seemed to follow me around all day
35 degrees in February!!!
Got caught in a downpour, had to stop in a bus shelter
Resurfacing the road, what a nightmare!
Couldn’t see a thing
Cycling fitness and condition
Not bad considering haven’t been on a bike in a month
Spent too much time in the office this month so have put on a few pounds
If I were a few kilos lighter, I would have shot up that climb
Confused my cycle trip for an eating and drinking weekend
This list is obviously not exhaustive and suggestions would be very welcome. If you are not already a regular user of the excuse line, then give it a go. The most elaborate excuses are sometimes the most believable. A short word of warning though, overuse can soon turn sympathy into resentment and worst, ridicule!